I took another trip this past weekend. Seriously sad how infrequently I travel given my flight benefits and amount of friends and family who live in cool places. I'm working on that!

So Los Angeles...I have a growing affection for this city. It was never my favorite city, but it slowly is showing its many sides to me and I find more to like each time I visit. The thing I like the MOST? My wonderful friend, Sarah, who was also my wonderful maid of honor. So I went to play in LA on Saturday - just for 24 hours! I need to take more trips like this to improve my attitude about flying stand-by. It was pretty great! I hopped on a very early flight on Saturday morning, enjoyed a fun day of eating, shopping, catching up, meeting new friends, hiking and cooler weather.

We actually successfully hiked up a pretty decent trail with some amazing views. Spotted this little guy as we neared the top.

So with my non-rev (no revenue flying) confidence up a little, maybe I'll try another trip soon! Who knows where or who I may try to see next!

Thank, Los Angeles, let's do it again soon.

What's your "currency"

Everyone has their motivation - motivation to work out, motivation to save money, motivation to work harder. I've been thinking a lot lately about my motivations. Like a lot of things in my life, I understand it but cannot always put what I think, feel or know into a nice little gift box because I try not to be so limiting. I envy people who can be clear and direct about what will motivate them to reach their goals because I think it would help me reach mine.

So, in talking with friends and other professionals, I have found what motivates them in hopes I will understand what can motivate me and help me become more successful in my career aspirations.
Some people, actually many people, are motivated by money. They see their paycheck as that benchmark of their success and that makes sense. But money doesn't motivate me. Don't get me wrong, I like having money as much as the next person, but beyond taking care of my necessities, money doesn't get me out of bed.

Other people I've found are motivated by the work they do. Now, I would hope most people enjoy their work, but I mean people who are so in love with what they do, that they would get up at 3 am, drive hours in a blizzard to a crap office with zero pay and no benefits just to get to do their job. I do love my job and have way too much fun sometimes to call it "work" but I don't know that just the job itself does it for me.

I think I may be a little closer to the next group; people who are motivated by what their job gives them - freedoms, benefits (hello free air travel), access to great people/parties/things, etc. I don't get a whole lot of this category, but I am definitely motivated by free time. I will work my butt off for an event or a crazy few weeks if I know I get to check out and get time back afterwards. But still, this isn't my currency.

I say currency because most people are motivated by the financial reward. Why shouldn't they be? Their is one glaring reason we aren't all laying out by our giant pools having our hired help bring us champagne every day...we need to work! So, by default, the more money you make the better you must be at your job and therefore, if you are a career-minded person like me, the more value you have - for your family, your employer, your future and for yourself.

I had to fill out a bio form once for a leadership academy so we could all get to know our classmates. There was a question on there relating to this and I answered that I am driven by happiness. It sounds so corny, but I think at the end of the day, I have no other way to say it. I am driven and motivated by happiness. I probably define happiness differently than everyone else, but I think deep down, that sense of contentment with what I am doing is what drives me to do more, do better and to take pride in what I am doing.

I had a job once that from the outside should have been "my big break" and I was SO excited. But from the inside, the job killed me. It sucked every ounce of happiness out of me to a point I couldn't find myself in the great titled job, at the well-known company, with the good pay and amazing benefits. I left, cut my salary by more than anyone should...every! And, what I got back was my happiness. Maybe there is a more definite way to articulate what it really is deep down that equates happiness to me professionally. But I guess I'm just OK going with a feeling I get about the job, the people and the possibilities. The happy employee always works harder anyway so I guess my currency isn't really an odd concept.

But thank goodness I also earn enough to get by, love what I do enough to just now accept an invitation to be at work at 6 a.m. tomorrow, and know that I have the freedom to leave early enough to take Ruby to the vet!

Sex and the City 10 years later

At 18, I learned to love Sex and the City. I imagined myself being that fabulous, successful and definitely single in an amazing city like New York when I was in my mid-20s and likely 30s. I could actually relate to some of the crazy single girl drama (minus the designer clothes) and thought it made sense. Clearly this was pretty accurate, and definitely funny.

Fast-forward 10 years (because it seriously feels like that is what happens...life fast-forwards like crazy!) and at 29 I popped the entire Sex and the City series into my TV and enjoyed these fabulous ladies while Kyle has been away on trips.

Only something is different. I find I roll my eyes a lot and answer their silly men questions out loud - my dogs agree with me so it's ok - and start to wonder if too much SATC could have been bad for me... probably!

I think I tried to be that fabulous, but I fell in love with a non-drama guy, have a job that doesn't require any fancy clothing (in fact it's better if I don't dress up too much) and got lost on my way to being that fabulous! But I think it worked out. Watching what I thought made so much sense as a 20-year-old is definitely fun and brings back so many fond memories, but I hope someone tells the soon-to-be-fabulous 20-year-olds, that life isn't nearly that tough!

Married, 30yo, mother of zero

What happens when you are in the midst of or moving through some very significant things in your life?  You get lots of questions, advice and other fun things to make you talk about personal things you don't even know about yet.

I'm in that, "Have you guys talked about having kids yet?" phase. Sure, it is a natural question. You get married, you buy a house, you have babies - period! That is the order of things and happy parents can't wait for you to join them on the baby side.

The problem is that for some people, having kids is an easy, no-brainier; others not so much. The first group is usually overrun with women, but still, it's the 200% certain group of "there is no other option" that can be intimidating.

What about the rest of us? What about those childless women who are teetering between kids or no kids? Now, I don't have a baby, but I respect those women who have babies, toddlers, teenagers or grown children (I am a grown child and my mom still has a lot to deal with). However, those of us in my boat have it rough! The constant barrage of questions. The silent judgement - we can hear it! - from others who want to know about our family plans. When we say "I don't know" it doesn't mean we don't know, it means I don't want to talk about "it" whatever "it" may be.

I have heard and witnessed new moms, and mothers-to-be receive lots of unsolicited advice. But so do the childless who choose not to explain their personal plans to everyone.

"It's good to wait" "You  will know when you are ready" "Don't wait too long" "If you do want kids, how many do you want? You have to have more than one!" "Having one is the best" "Don't have kids!" "In my next life I'm just having fish" "Kids ruined my life" "Having kids is the purpose for life" 

Oh my goodness! 

I had a very heart-warming moment with a colleague recently. He is probably late-fifties or so and never had children. We were talking and something came up and he mentioned how he doesn't care for kids and I laughed (if you knew him, you'd laugh too) but then he said something that I appreciated. 

He said that people like me have it rough - those married women, of the baby age, but without children. And, without us talking about it, we knew that we completely agreed and appreciated each other for understanding. It is hard being where I am. Because I'm not even sure where it is that I am right now.

Please understand, those of us in my group don't get mad at someone when they pry into our personal lives like this. Hell - I probably ask people things like this too - "Hey you - you lady who has been with the same guy for 3 years - when are you getting married?"

But we may not want to talk about it. Imagine how someone feels when asked "why don't you and your husband have any kids" when that woman has been trying for 10 years to have a baby, is on treatments and cries frequently because all she wants is a baby. It is DEEPLY personal and some women are comfortable talking about all of it, and others are not. Just think about how excited, confused or even nervous about a recent positive test a women may be when you want to ask that question. It isn't a life step we are all required to take, it is a lifelong commitment. From the moment you decide you want a baby, you become someone new. You become a mother in training. It is a VERY big deal and a very big and important decision to some women, more so than just flipping to the next chapter.

As for me...we are constantly in training for the next big or small step in our lives. We don't know anything for sure other than we love each other and love the life we have right now, in this very moment. We are happy and if that happiness grows to include more with our family, great! If it doesn't, we are no less happy and no less a family than we are today.

Take me away.....

It's been months since I hopped on a plane. Kyle does this daily - both flying himself, and going to and from home - but not me. I have had a few interesting experiences to say the least so I am somewhat apprehensive about flying stand-by. But, in order to get to and from Ohio in one weekend, I must get on a plane.

This time wasn't too bad. Kyle wanted to "give it a shot" at trying to fly Delta red-eye flight on a Thursday night into Atlanta or Detroit. It didn't look good online, but I trust him in this area. So we drove to the airport at 9:45 p.m. to try and get on one of two flights out at either 10:30 or 11:40 p.m. We sat at the gate (the two flights were right next to each other), met another stand-byer who needed to get to a tiny town in the midwest who was planning to sleep at the airport since it was obvious none of us were getting on these flights.

So we headed home at midnight and decided to take a 6 a.m. flight to Newark and then to Cleveland. This meant we had about three hours of sleep before the 4 1/2 flight. But we made it! Sleep-deprived, hungry and slightly cranky, but in Ohio for a weekend with my family.

Next trip on my/our planner...Sacramento, Seattle, Portland, LA, Hawaii....so many decisions!

Everything has its time

I've learned the hard way that life tends to hand (at least me) some of each. What I mean is, when something bad happens, like really bad, it is usually accompanied by something uplifting and it reminds me of how cyclical life really is.

When I was getting ready to celebrate my 12th birthday, my grandma (and my hero) was getting ready for her final goodbye. She passed two days before my birthday and my birthday party had to be rescheduled because it was the same night as her calling hours. It was the hardest thing I had experienced at that time, and still at the top of my list, but even my young, almost teenage brain saw the connection. That death, while sad and unavoidable, is as natural as new life (or a sweet girl becoming a teenager - AHHHH!!).

I see the same things happen with losses and joys and with happiness and heartbreak frequently. Today I learned of a difficult sadness a friend is dealing with while I am still overjoyed for my recently married friends - both happened the same day. They may not be tied together at all, but it still reminds me that with the bad comes the good in life, and that it is all around. We cannot stop it, we cannot change its course, we can only be part of the ride and know, like waves in the ocean, there will be highs and lows, but it is supposed to be this way.

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

Pace yourselves, it's gonna be a long, bumpy ride!

Five Ways to Climb the Corporate Ladder, Pronto! Woah, "Pronto"? Does that mean that I am falling behind every moment I'm not climbing? Or, maybe it doesn't matter because Why Women Still Can't Have it All - wait, nevermind, Women CAN have it all - but only if their man pulls their weight, HA! I knew there was a catch!

It is no wonder I feel slightly stressed and like there is an ever increasing pressure to not just succeed in career, home, personal life, but that if I don't, I am short-selling my potential. So, I guess I will just sleep when I am dead, which, with this kind of internal and external pressure should be about five years away.

We don't turn off our phones, even on vacation. We check our email, social media outlets, work and cell voicemails...all before getting out of bed in the morning. When do we give ourselves a break?

To anyone else who feels like this describes their daily life, let's get off the hamster wheel!

I attended a public relations luncheon today where a panel of successful and well-known public relations professionals shared some valuable experiences and pieces of advice learned over their careers. Many pieces stood out as good ideas to take back to the office, and one that stood out as something to take with me always.

Learn how to turn it off - all of it. A room of proud "news junkies" who are addicted to the constant stream of news, many of them checking for updates about the new Catholic Pope that came during the discussion, like this idea. Sadly, most know that it isn't realistic.

Our generation has had cell phones since high school and were the first members of Facebook. We are programmed to never turn it off, but we should. If we want to climb that corporate ladder - and quickly - we need to find a pace. Our career, and life, shouldn't be a constant sprint, it is a marathon and we are going to need to take breaks. Maybe for a week here and there, maybe for a few years when our priorities change, whatever it is, we need to pace ourselves to reach our goals whatever they are.

So if you need an afternoon to unplug, find a way! If you need a week's vacation after eight months of no days off, take that week and tell your colleagues what constitutes an emergency to call/text you, and let them handle the rest! We are no good when we don't take time for ourselves once in a while, a mental health break if you will, can be very refreshing and leave you more productive and ready to do whatever you have to, pronto!

And for a fun little end to this, I bring you the Top 10 Most Stressful Professions and I love that my hubby and I are both on this list!

Good luck! Take a vacation, even if it is just 15 minutes to grab coffee!