Friday, January 2, 2015

Dear Non-Pilot Wife Friends: We Are Not Blowing You Off

A few months ago I experienced something I seriously dislike; having to tell a friend I couldn’t do fun couple activities, repeatedly, for several months! Every time this sweet friend and her husband had something fun in mind, I had to sadly say that the hubby was working. He was working ALL weekends at the time. And, I am NOT someone who likes to turn down social engagements…at all!

I don’t necessarily think that my friend thought we were blowing them off, but I sure felt like we were. So it got me thinking about the fellow pilot wives out there also trying to maintain some sort of social life with couple friends.

Everyone and each lifestyle comes with its own challenges to living the life we want, but how are we supposed to build relationships (particularly if we move every five or so years because of changing bases) with couple friends and family-type friends when we have the kiddos, when we are always flying solo?

I’m grateful for friends who understand, and particularly those who are fellow pilot wives when no further questioning is needed as she explains they can’t do dinner tomorrow because her hubby just got done with a 4-day, has one day home, then leaves for a stand-up. Gross!

There is also the added layer of them being gone all the time and trying to get them to leave the house. My husband does not want to leave our home, even to go out to dinner (he would prefer take out) when he is home. He doesn’t spend that much time in our house anyway, so on the few days he is home, he isn’t leaving unless it is life or death. Try explaining that to everyone!

Being comfortable doing things solo is a must when your husband is gone almost half of the time. Thankfully, there are friends who understand, don’t mind us being the third, fifth or seventh wheel, and never leave us out because we aren’t the full package every time.

I’m just grateful I’m past the point where friends and their significant others thought I was making a man up because he was never around!