At 18, I learned to love Sex and the City. I imagined myself being that fabulous, successful and definitely single in an amazing city like New York when I was in my mid-20s and likely 30s. I could actually relate to some of the crazy single girl drama (minus the designer clothes) and thought it made sense. Clearly this was pretty accurate, and definitely funny.
Fast-forward 10 years (because it seriously feels like that is what happens...life fast-forwards like crazy!) and at 29 I popped the entire Sex and the City series into my TV and enjoyed these fabulous ladies while Kyle has been away on trips.
Only something is different. I find I roll my eyes a lot and answer their silly men questions out loud - my dogs agree with me so it's ok - and start to wonder if too much SATC could have been bad for me... probably!
I think I tried to be that fabulous, but I fell in love with a non-drama guy, have a job that doesn't require any fancy clothing (in fact it's better if I don't dress up too much) and got lost on my way to being that fabulous! But I think it worked out. Watching what I thought made so much sense as a 20-year-old is definitely fun and brings back so many fond memories, but I hope someone tells the soon-to-be-fabulous 20-year-olds, that life isn't nearly that tough!
Monday, July 1, 2013
Friday, May 17, 2013
Married, 30yo, mother of zero
What happens when you are in the midst of or moving through some very significant things in your life? You get lots of questions, advice and other fun things to make you talk about personal things you don't even know about yet.
I'm in that, "Have you guys talked about having kids yet?" phase. Sure, it is a natural question. You get married, you buy a house, you have babies - period! That is the order of things and happy parents can't wait for you to join them on the baby side.
The problem is that for some people, having kids is an easy, no-brainier; others not so much. The first group is usually overrun with women, but still, it's the 200% certain group of "there is no other option" that can be intimidating.
What about the rest of us? What about those childless women who are teetering between kids or no kids? Now, I don't have a baby, but I respect those women who have babies, toddlers, teenagers or grown children (I am a grown child and my mom still has a lot to deal with). However, those of us in my boat have it rough! The constant barrage of questions. The silent judgement - we can hear it! - from others who want to know about our family plans. When we say "I don't know" it doesn't mean we don't know, it means I don't want to talk about "it" whatever "it" may be.
I have heard and witnessed new moms, and mothers-to-be receive lots of unsolicited advice. But so do the childless who choose not to explain their personal plans to everyone.
"It's good to wait" "You will know when you are ready" "Don't wait too long" "If you do want kids, how many do you want? You have to have more than one!" "Having one is the best" "Don't have kids!" "In my next life I'm just having fish" "Kids ruined my life" "Having kids is the purpose for life"
Oh my goodness!
I had a very heart-warming moment with a colleague recently. He is probably late-fifties or so and never had children. We were talking and something came up and he mentioned how he doesn't care for kids and I laughed (if you knew him, you'd laugh too) but then he said something that I appreciated.
He said that people like me have it rough - those married women, of the baby age, but without children. And, without us talking about it, we knew that we completely agreed and appreciated each other for understanding. It is hard being where I am. Because I'm not even sure where it is that I am right now.
Please understand, those of us in my group don't get mad at someone when they pry into our personal lives like this. Hell - I probably ask people things like this too - "Hey you - you lady who has been with the same guy for 3 years - when are you getting married?"
But we may not want to talk about it. Imagine how someone feels when asked "why don't you and your husband have any kids" when that woman has been trying for 10 years to have a baby, is on treatments and cries frequently because all she wants is a baby. It is DEEPLY personal and some women are comfortable talking about all of it, and others are not. Just think about how excited, confused or even nervous about a recent positive test a women may be when you want to ask that question. It isn't a life step we are all required to take, it is a lifelong commitment. From the moment you decide you want a baby, you become someone new. You become a mother in training. It is a VERY big deal and a very big and important decision to some women, more so than just flipping to the next chapter.
As for me...we are constantly in training for the next big or small step in our lives. We don't know anything for sure other than we love each other and love the life we have right now, in this very moment. We are happy and if that happiness grows to include more with our family, great! If it doesn't, we are no less happy and no less a family than we are today.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Take me away.....
It's been months since I hopped on a plane. Kyle does this daily - both flying himself, and going to and from home - but not me. I have had a few interesting experiences to say the least so I am somewhat apprehensive about flying stand-by. But, in order to get to and from Ohio in one weekend, I must get on a plane.
This time wasn't too bad. Kyle wanted to "give it a shot" at trying to fly Delta red-eye flight on a Thursday night into Atlanta or Detroit. It didn't look good online, but I trust him in this area. So we drove to the airport at 9:45 p.m. to try and get on one of two flights out at either 10:30 or 11:40 p.m. We sat at the gate (the two flights were right next to each other), met another stand-byer who needed to get to a tiny town in the midwest who was planning to sleep at the airport since it was obvious none of us were getting on these flights.
So we headed home at midnight and decided to take a 6 a.m. flight to Newark and then to Cleveland. This meant we had about three hours of sleep before the 4 1/2 flight. But we made it! Sleep-deprived, hungry and slightly cranky, but in Ohio for a weekend with my family.
Next trip on my/our planner...Sacramento, Seattle, Portland, LA, Hawaii....so many decisions!
This time wasn't too bad. Kyle wanted to "give it a shot" at trying to fly Delta red-eye flight on a Thursday night into Atlanta or Detroit. It didn't look good online, but I trust him in this area. So we drove to the airport at 9:45 p.m. to try and get on one of two flights out at either 10:30 or 11:40 p.m. We sat at the gate (the two flights were right next to each other), met another stand-byer who needed to get to a tiny town in the midwest who was planning to sleep at the airport since it was obvious none of us were getting on these flights.
So we headed home at midnight and decided to take a 6 a.m. flight to Newark and then to Cleveland. This meant we had about three hours of sleep before the 4 1/2 flight. But we made it! Sleep-deprived, hungry and slightly cranky, but in Ohio for a weekend with my family.
Next trip on my/our planner...Sacramento, Seattle, Portland, LA, Hawaii....so many decisions!
Monday, April 1, 2013
Everything has its time
I've learned the hard way that life tends to hand (at least me) some of each. What I mean is, when something bad happens, like really bad, it is usually accompanied by something uplifting and it reminds me of how cyclical life really is.
When I was getting ready to celebrate my 12th birthday, my grandma (and my hero) was getting ready for her final goodbye. She passed two days before my birthday and my birthday party had to be rescheduled because it was the same night as her calling hours. It was the hardest thing I had experienced at that time, and still at the top of my list, but even my young, almost teenage brain saw the connection. That death, while sad and unavoidable, is as natural as new life (or a sweet girl becoming a teenager - AHHHH!!).
I see the same things happen with losses and joys and with happiness and heartbreak frequently. Today I learned of a difficult sadness a friend is dealing with while I am still overjoyed for my recently married friends - both happened the same day. They may not be tied together at all, but it still reminds me that with the bad comes the good in life, and that it is all around. We cannot stop it, we cannot change its course, we can only be part of the ride and know, like waves in the ocean, there will be highs and lows, but it is supposed to be this way.
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
When I was getting ready to celebrate my 12th birthday, my grandma (and my hero) was getting ready for her final goodbye. She passed two days before my birthday and my birthday party had to be rescheduled because it was the same night as her calling hours. It was the hardest thing I had experienced at that time, and still at the top of my list, but even my young, almost teenage brain saw the connection. That death, while sad and unavoidable, is as natural as new life (or a sweet girl becoming a teenager - AHHHH!!).
I see the same things happen with losses and joys and with happiness and heartbreak frequently. Today I learned of a difficult sadness a friend is dealing with while I am still overjoyed for my recently married friends - both happened the same day. They may not be tied together at all, but it still reminds me that with the bad comes the good in life, and that it is all around. We cannot stop it, we cannot change its course, we can only be part of the ride and know, like waves in the ocean, there will be highs and lows, but it is supposed to be this way.
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Pace yourselves, it's gonna be a long, bumpy ride!
Five Ways to Climb the Corporate Ladder, Pronto! Woah, "Pronto"? Does that mean that I am falling behind every moment I'm not climbing? Or, maybe it doesn't matter because Why Women Still Can't Have it All - wait, nevermind, Women CAN have it all - but only if their man pulls their weight, HA! I knew there was a catch!
It is no wonder I feel slightly stressed and like there is an ever increasing pressure to not just succeed in career, home, personal life, but that if I don't, I am short-selling my potential. So, I guess I will just sleep when I am dead, which, with this kind of internal and external pressure should be about five years away.
We don't turn off our phones, even on vacation. We check our email, social media outlets, work and cell voicemails...all before getting out of bed in the morning. When do we give ourselves a break?
To anyone else who feels like this describes their daily life, let's get off the hamster wheel!
I attended a public relations luncheon today where a panel of successful and well-known public relations professionals shared some valuable experiences and pieces of advice learned over their careers. Many pieces stood out as good ideas to take back to the office, and one that stood out as something to take with me always.
Learn how to turn it off - all of it. A room of proud "news junkies" who are addicted to the constant stream of news, many of them checking for updates about the new Catholic Pope that came during the discussion, like this idea. Sadly, most know that it isn't realistic.
Our generation has had cell phones since high school and were the first members of Facebook. We are programmed to never turn it off, but we should. If we want to climb that corporate ladder - and quickly - we need to find a pace. Our career, and life, shouldn't be a constant sprint, it is a marathon and we are going to need to take breaks. Maybe for a week here and there, maybe for a few years when our priorities change, whatever it is, we need to pace ourselves to reach our goals whatever they are.
So if you need an afternoon to unplug, find a way! If you need a week's vacation after eight months of no days off, take that week and tell your colleagues what constitutes an emergency to call/text you, and let them handle the rest! We are no good when we don't take time for ourselves once in a while, a mental health break if you will, can be very refreshing and leave you more productive and ready to do whatever you have to, pronto!
And for a fun little end to this, I bring you the Top 10 Most Stressful Professions and I love that my hubby and I are both on this list!
Good luck! Take a vacation, even if it is just 15 minutes to grab coffee!
It is no wonder I feel slightly stressed and like there is an ever increasing pressure to not just succeed in career, home, personal life, but that if I don't, I am short-selling my potential. So, I guess I will just sleep when I am dead, which, with this kind of internal and external pressure should be about five years away.
We don't turn off our phones, even on vacation. We check our email, social media outlets, work and cell voicemails...all before getting out of bed in the morning. When do we give ourselves a break?
I attended a public relations luncheon today where a panel of successful and well-known public relations professionals shared some valuable experiences and pieces of advice learned over their careers. Many pieces stood out as good ideas to take back to the office, and one that stood out as something to take with me always.
Learn how to turn it off - all of it. A room of proud "news junkies" who are addicted to the constant stream of news, many of them checking for updates about the new Catholic Pope that came during the discussion, like this idea. Sadly, most know that it isn't realistic.
Our generation has had cell phones since high school and were the first members of Facebook. We are programmed to never turn it off, but we should. If we want to climb that corporate ladder - and quickly - we need to find a pace. Our career, and life, shouldn't be a constant sprint, it is a marathon and we are going to need to take breaks. Maybe for a week here and there, maybe for a few years when our priorities change, whatever it is, we need to pace ourselves to reach our goals whatever they are.
So if you need an afternoon to unplug, find a way! If you need a week's vacation after eight months of no days off, take that week and tell your colleagues what constitutes an emergency to call/text you, and let them handle the rest! We are no good when we don't take time for ourselves once in a while, a mental health break if you will, can be very refreshing and leave you more productive and ready to do whatever you have to, pronto!
And for a fun little end to this, I bring you the Top 10 Most Stressful Professions and I love that my hubby and I are both on this list!
Good luck! Take a vacation, even if it is just 15 minutes to grab coffee!
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
I love a man in uniform
A pilot uniform to be exact! Being the wife of a pilot isn't a job for sissies, that is for sure! I am my husbands #1 fan - whether that is literally cheering for him on the soccer field, or in his professional pursuits. When he said he wanted to be a pilot, I cheered him on, having no idea what that would look like.
First things first, yes I get to fly for "free" KINDA. And, yes, that is great KINDA. But you can go ahead and feel jealous if you want, that is fine with me. I'll share the small print on that perk later.
Being a pilot is tough. The education is fast-paced, intense and constant. And it should be. But during school when he had to leave the house at 4 am for a flight, I thought, "This is just temporary" and went back to sleep. Actually, no, I never sleep well when he is flying, EVER. When he was a flight instructor manager, one of his employees crashed a plane with several students on board. Nobody survived. When that 6 am call came in to him, it shocks you back to reality - those poor families, the phone calls that have to be made to them, they were so young, this happens in this industry... I sat in the bathroom at work and cried for a while when this happened. My heart broke for everyone who lost a loved one, mourned those lives lost too soon, and confronted my worst fears a little too close for comfort.
Back to me not being a sissy.
Fast-forward a few years. He left that flight instructing job that had a decent paycheck and benefits, was in town, and had no future. We knew the career he wanted meant he would have to become a commercial pilot. The week after our honeymoon (per the deal we made) he began applying for commercial jobs. He got the job he wanted with a great company. But, this meant he would be going back to training. This intense process took him out of state for several months, only seeing him at Christmas. Months on end without my hubby, with no family around, during the holidays when everyone is doing coupely/family things...ya that sucks!
Then the first year started and the pay is awesome....ly terrible! Oh my goodness. We sold his car and he got a beater. We cut back on EVERYTHING. Then there were other adjustments.
I cried when he left for the first time because it would be the end of us living together full-time. I force him to unpack EVERYTHING when he comes home because I feel like he isn't really home if he doesn't. He leaves for three, four, five, sometimes seven days at a time and I'm alone. You adjust, though.
I've learned to not care that I go to 75% of social things alone. I've learned to juggle my busy work life, with home responsibilities with my personal life on my own. It's a good thing I'm a planner because I would never get things done!
But he loves his job - like LOVES it! Plus, when he comes home I always get excited. Those few days together aren't wasted so there are some perks you don't expect. We enjoy every minute, plan fun things every time he is home (or plan to ignore the world for two days before he is gone again). Plus, seeing him happy, grow and succeed in a career he loves is the most rewarding part. It is also fun to drop into conversations, "....and since my husband is a pilot..." as often as possible and get to talk about how proud I am of my man.
Then there is the travel. Yes, I kinda fly kind. We pay an annual fee to fly domestically for $0 per trip...if there are open seats, and if I don't get bumped by someone with more seniority which happens A LOT. My first experience flying for free I got to my family in the Midwest easily. Coming back west I spent nine hours in Philly, only to get bumped from every flight back west they had so I jumped on the last flight to San Francisco. Then, I ran through the huge airport to give my hubby a kiss as he boarded his flight for the night (hi and goodbye!) and curled up on a bench and slept until 5 am when I could finally get home. So, ya, free??? KINDA. None of this is for sissies!
First things first, yes I get to fly for "free" KINDA. And, yes, that is great KINDA. But you can go ahead and feel jealous if you want, that is fine with me. I'll share the small print on that perk later.
Being a pilot is tough. The education is fast-paced, intense and constant. And it should be. But during school when he had to leave the house at 4 am for a flight, I thought, "This is just temporary" and went back to sleep. Actually, no, I never sleep well when he is flying, EVER. When he was a flight instructor manager, one of his employees crashed a plane with several students on board. Nobody survived. When that 6 am call came in to him, it shocks you back to reality - those poor families, the phone calls that have to be made to them, they were so young, this happens in this industry... I sat in the bathroom at work and cried for a while when this happened. My heart broke for everyone who lost a loved one, mourned those lives lost too soon, and confronted my worst fears a little too close for comfort.
Back to me not being a sissy.
Fast-forward a few years. He left that flight instructing job that had a decent paycheck and benefits, was in town, and had no future. We knew the career he wanted meant he would have to become a commercial pilot. The week after our honeymoon (per the deal we made) he began applying for commercial jobs. He got the job he wanted with a great company. But, this meant he would be going back to training. This intense process took him out of state for several months, only seeing him at Christmas. Months on end without my hubby, with no family around, during the holidays when everyone is doing coupely/family things...ya that sucks!
 |
| My hottie hubby flying us to beautiful Sedona for my birthday! |
I cried when he left for the first time because it would be the end of us living together full-time. I force him to unpack EVERYTHING when he comes home because I feel like he isn't really home if he doesn't. He leaves for three, four, five, sometimes seven days at a time and I'm alone. You adjust, though.
I've learned to not care that I go to 75% of social things alone. I've learned to juggle my busy work life, with home responsibilities with my personal life on my own. It's a good thing I'm a planner because I would never get things done!
But he loves his job - like LOVES it! Plus, when he comes home I always get excited. Those few days together aren't wasted so there are some perks you don't expect. We enjoy every minute, plan fun things every time he is home (or plan to ignore the world for two days before he is gone again). Plus, seeing him happy, grow and succeed in a career he loves is the most rewarding part. It is also fun to drop into conversations, "....and since my husband is a pilot..." as often as possible and get to talk about how proud I am of my man.
Then there is the travel. Yes, I kinda fly kind. We pay an annual fee to fly domestically for $0 per trip...if there are open seats, and if I don't get bumped by someone with more seniority which happens A LOT. My first experience flying for free I got to my family in the Midwest easily. Coming back west I spent nine hours in Philly, only to get bumped from every flight back west they had so I jumped on the last flight to San Francisco. Then, I ran through the huge airport to give my hubby a kiss as he boarded his flight for the night (hi and goodbye!) and curled up on a bench and slept until 5 am when I could finally get home. So, ya, free??? KINDA. None of this is for sissies!
Friday, March 8, 2013
I have an addiction...to popcorn!
I love popcorn - like serious addiction. Hubby bought me a popcorn
popper one year for Christmas as a last-minute, "I hope she likes this"
kind of gift and I LOVED it! After seriously nailing savory popcorn that
I like early on, I started thinking about what else I could do with
popped corn.
My first batch was peanut butter chocolate popcorn! Wow was that yummy and Kyle ate way more than I did! I'll post that another time.
I love some sweets, but am much more of a salty or savory type of person. When salted caramel became popular, I was in heaven.
Now onto my caramel popcorn. Do NOT think of that funky cracker jacks stuff - which is fine, but not my thing - this is caramel carried to your mouth lovingly by little while popped corn kernels.
Here is my first original popcorn recipe, Salted Caramel Popcorn.
Air pop about 8-10 cups of popcorn - set aside in bowls with enough room to mix!
Combine 1/2 c butter, 1 c brown sugar and 1/4 c corn syrup in sauce pan - melt for 5 min. Add 1 tsp vanilla, 1 1/2 tsp salt and 1/2 tsp baking soda. Coat popcorn! You will have to stir quickly before the caramel cools so that everything is coated.
Now, line baking trays with parchment paper or a little corn starch to keep from ruining your baking tray.
Finally - I added another drizzle of caramel. Melt some more butter and brown sugar with a pinch (seriously a pinch) of baking soda. Drizzle this all over the popcorn, sprinkle with some coarse salt and cool.
Then the hard part....waiting....and waiting until it is cool - like an hour or two!
Enjoy!
My first batch was peanut butter chocolate popcorn! Wow was that yummy and Kyle ate way more than I did! I'll post that another time.
I love some sweets, but am much more of a salty or savory type of person. When salted caramel became popular, I was in heaven.
Now onto my caramel popcorn. Do NOT think of that funky cracker jacks stuff - which is fine, but not my thing - this is caramel carried to your mouth lovingly by little while popped corn kernels.
Here is my first original popcorn recipe, Salted Caramel Popcorn.
Air pop about 8-10 cups of popcorn - set aside in bowls with enough room to mix!
Combine 1/2 c butter, 1 c brown sugar and 1/4 c corn syrup in sauce pan - melt for 5 min. Add 1 tsp vanilla, 1 1/2 tsp salt and 1/2 tsp baking soda. Coat popcorn! You will have to stir quickly before the caramel cools so that everything is coated.
Now, line baking trays with parchment paper or a little corn starch to keep from ruining your baking tray.
Finally - I added another drizzle of caramel. Melt some more butter and brown sugar with a pinch (seriously a pinch) of baking soda. Drizzle this all over the popcorn, sprinkle with some coarse salt and cool.
Then the hard part....waiting....and waiting until it is cool - like an hour or two!
Enjoy!
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