Traveling Baby Chapter 2 - Getting on the Plane

It was finally here, the day before our trip to NYC for my brother’s wedding. I went through my packing list for baby boy a few (10) more times. If you are curious, my packing list is at the bottom.

After dinner the night before, hubby double-checks the flight loads (for those of you who don’t have to play the standby game, this is what tells us if we have a chance of getting on our flight, or if we should just give up now) and made a few back-up recommendations. We will likely get there on the flight we want. YES!

Then we discuss our plan of attack for the morning.

• Step 1 – 3:15 a.m. hubby wakes up (barf!)
• Step 2 – 3:30 a.m. I wake up (those 15 minutes help)
• Step 3 – DON’T WAKE THE BABY YET OR OUR SCHEDULE/PLAN is F-ED
• Step 4 – Hubby makes breakfast, packs snacks and I pump
• Step 5 – We run silently around the house like crazy people. Side note, I think parents could carry out all kinds of burglaries or special ops after living your life to not wake your sleeping baby.
• Step 6 – WAKE THE BEAST! Quickly put him in his flying outfit (yes, I had a special outfit for flying and it said something about being Daddy’s copilot) and get him in the car. You have three minutes to do all of this while he is still groggy before the meltdown starts. It’s only 4:30 a.m.
• Step 7 – Pray all your stuff is in the right bags and load them in the car. Don’t forget the baby!
• Step 8 – Feed your screaming child as you drive to the airport. Start the countdown until he needs to eat again and pray for no massive messes before you get on the plane!

At the airport I feel like I’m carrying out an intricate balancing act. Baby is in the stroller I’m pushing in front of me, my roller suitcase is behind me and my diaper bag is on my back.

WARNING – Make SURE your boarding pass says “Infant in Arms” or they will NOT let you into security. I don’t even want to talk about that.

Weave in and out of the security line ropes with all your crap in front of and behind you. Have fun!

When you get to the part where you take out your stuff for the x-ray, collapse your stroller, load your bags on the x-ray machine belt, take off the car seat, and grab your baby people will glare at you! It doesn’t matter if you are trying to disarm a bomb people, everyone behind you (all 2 of them) hate you for taking 10 seconds longer than they think you should. Meanwhile, you feel like inspector gadget with all your crap and like a serious badass as you take care of business alone.

Get through that metal detector (that’s right, no weird body scanners for you!) and then reassemble all your belongings. But this time, you do not care one bit that the people behind you are annoyed. You are just beginning your trip.

Say “Hello” to hubby who managed to park the car, ride the terminal bus from the parking lot to the terminal, go through security and get your boarding passes while you accomplished only one thing.

Then, get on the plane and hopefully fly peacefully to your destination.

My packing list

• Birth certificate
• Breast pump and pieces
• Ice packs
• Bottles
• Bottle cooler bag
• Baby carrier
• Eight onesies
• Three swaddle blankets (one for each night)
• Three bibs
• Five burp cloths
• Four pairs of socks
• Dressy outfit
• Three plastic laundry bags
• Ten diapers (buy more when you get there)
• Wipes (buy more when you get there)

Traveling Baby Chapter 1 – Preparing for our First Family Flight

I love to travel. I love my new son. Therefore, I must learn how to travel with this little adorable nugget of mine.

I’ll be honest, the thought of traveling with my nine-week-old son gave me anxiety. I can see why other people opt not to do it. However, when your little brother is getting married in NYC and you are in the wedding, oh, and your hubby is a commercial pilot, you must suck it up and get on the damn plane!

Probably four months before baby boy’s arrival, I started asking other pilot wives and reading other blogs like Have Baby Will Travel about the adventures of non-rev with a baby. I got great advice, like:

• Take zip lock bags in case a diaper/spit-up explosion happens
• Buy diapers when you get there and just pack what will fit
• Get a cover for your car seat so it doesn’t get damaged when you gate check

Once little man was in our lives, though, other questions and concerns surfaced, like:

• How the hell am I going to keep this little guy on his sleep schedule?
• As his source of food, how do I do this? Should I bring my pump and tools (yes, yes you should!)
• He hasn’t had all his vaccines!! What if someone sneezes on him? (you punch them in the face!)

All that craziness rolls around your head, and then you think about all the passengers who will automatically hate you for procreating and bringing your child on the plane. Ugh! The anxiety is back!

I made a list of everything I would need, from his birth certificate (this is a rumor, you don’t need it – check with your airline!), to how many onesies he could destroy in a day times three. My hubby wanted me to practice feeding him in public with my cover. I opted not to and regret it. It wasn’t easy, but he didn’t starve!

We ordered the car seat cover (definitely do this!) to protect it from being totally destroyed, or worse, dirty, from being stored with the luggage.

Check, check, check!

Now all that is left is getting on the damn plane! 

Rapid-Fire Recap -- What the Hell Has Been Going On?

Woah…did you miss me? Did you notice I was gone? Ehh, no biggie!

The world of travel changed for this pilot wife and her hubby over the past year. Let’s recap:

In January 2014, we moved from Arizona to my home state of Ohio. Sold one house, bought another, I changed jobs, hubby transitioned to a new aircraft, and life was all around chaotic.

We took a trip to Chicago in April of 2014, which was a blast! I saw family, explored the city on my own (I’ve always wanted to do a trip alone so this kinda checked that box) while hubby was still flying.

Then, in late-August, we went to Arizona to see friends and family, and then up to the San Francisco-area to see more friends and family. My heart ached because I miss the West so much, but that is another story.

We had a blast and no real non-rev issues! (virtual high-five!) We also had the opportunity to tell a few friends and family that we were going to have a baby! It was early so we didn’t tell everyone, but we had to tell some (ahem…most) of them! My husband’s grandparents, both in their mid-90s, were still living independently at the time (more on that a few paragraphs down) so it was great to spend time with them. After that, we headed north to wine country and to stay at his cousin’s guest house and relax, and to learn that our baby would have a new cousin! Hubby’s cousin was expecting their second two weeks before our little one was due!

Once we got home, the fact that we were becoming parents really sunk in. No more weekend trips on the fly, saving money for baby boy or girl was a priority, and life was going to change big time. We were excited, but I get VERY stir-crazy if I don’t have trips planned. I felt a little trapped in Ohio and with a very cold, grey, long winter, I was really exhausted by the time the sun finally came back. There were even times I would take the dogs for a walk in 10 degree snow (with my massive belly) because I had to get out of the house!

In November, hubby’s grandfather had heart surgery. They weren’t sure if he would go for the surgery or not. Being mid-90s with other medical concerns, it was either risk the surgery, or enjoy the next few months that would definitely be his last. I am glad they risked the surgery and gave him more time, but it hasn’t been easy. He suffered a few strokes during the surgery, but it was an overall success considering. In mid-December, it was decided that my hubby needed to see his grandfather ASAP because it wasn’t looking good. I decided to go with him. It was exhausting. We left early one morning, two leg-trip, and got into San Francisco as planned. We saw his grandparents and dad. Despite the exhaustion, I’m glad we both went. About 24 hours later, we headed home on our cross country trip. Going home was WAY harder and after a three hour nap in a Charlotte hotel (from 1-4 a.m. -- practice for baby!!), we finally got on a flight home. After that, I didn’t go anywhere for the duration of the pregnancy. Thankfully, grandpa is back home, but they have full-time help (which they hate), and have lost some of their spunk. But they are amazing people and I can’t wait to see them again this fall!

April rolled around and our baby boy made his arrival one week late, but healthy as an ox…and about as big as one too!

So there is this pilot wife’s year in a recap! Obviously, many other things happened, but these are the biggies and I’m sure this next year will be just as exciting, minus the baby. We are good with one child and two dogs for now! 

Dear Non-Pilot Wife Friends: We Are Not Blowing You Off

A few months ago I experienced something I seriously dislike; having to tell a friend I couldn’t do fun couple activities, repeatedly, for several months! Every time this sweet friend and her husband had something fun in mind, I had to sadly say that the hubby was working. He was working ALL weekends at the time. And, I am NOT someone who likes to turn down social engagements…at all!

I don’t necessarily think that my friend thought we were blowing them off, but I sure felt like we were. So it got me thinking about the fellow pilot wives out there also trying to maintain some sort of social life with couple friends.

Everyone and each lifestyle comes with its own challenges to living the life we want, but how are we supposed to build relationships (particularly if we move every five or so years because of changing bases) with couple friends and family-type friends when we have the kiddos, when we are always flying solo?

I’m grateful for friends who understand, and particularly those who are fellow pilot wives when no further questioning is needed as she explains they can’t do dinner tomorrow because her hubby just got done with a 4-day, has one day home, then leaves for a stand-up. Gross!

There is also the added layer of them being gone all the time and trying to get them to leave the house. My husband does not want to leave our home, even to go out to dinner (he would prefer take out) when he is home. He doesn’t spend that much time in our house anyway, so on the few days he is home, he isn’t leaving unless it is life or death. Try explaining that to everyone!

Being comfortable doing things solo is a must when your husband is gone almost half of the time. Thankfully, there are friends who understand, don’t mind us being the third, fifth or seventh wheel, and never leave us out because we aren’t the full package every time.

I’m just grateful I’m past the point where friends and their significant others thought I was making a man up because he was never around!

Table for One in Chicago

As the wife of a commercial pilot, I am well-acquainted with doing things solo. I have attended parties, weddings, holiday gatherings, “couples” nights, and everything else possible as a party of one. However, until recently I had never traveled solo.

I met a friend of mine in Portland, OR a year ago for a girl’s weekend. She arrive the day before me and just hung out in Portland. She explored, ate in restaurants, talked to people and shopped solo and had a great time. I felt a little jealous! I never before thought of traveling like this. In the back of my mind I always wanted to do a trip alone, but figured I wouldn’t because between my hubby and friends, someone was always down for a trip.

Such a beautiful, fun and friendly city

Then we moved to the Midwest and I needed to fend for myself in a strange place (with shitty weather) and after not seeing hubby for more than two days out of 30, by April I decided we needed some time together. I decided we should visit Chicago. Hubby is based there so I could easily take a short flight to the Windy City and meet up with him for a romantic weekend.

I flew in a on a Saturday and he had to work until Sunday. So off I went, from O’Hare to my downtown hotel, on public transportation, meeting new people along the way. I loved my hotel and the neighborhood. I needed to go do stuff on my own; but what?

After a cocktail and salad in my hotel restaurant (which were amazing), I silently made fun of myself for not leaving my hotel. Why was it so hard to walk out the door and explore? I read a great review about the best Mexican hot chocolate in the city (America) so I decided to walk a few miles on a Saturday night while everyone around me was walking to a late dinner with friends or waiting to get into a club for a bachelorette party (seriously, I walked past like five parties doing this!).

That’s when it got weird—but not for me. I surprisingly didn’t care that the server/host/floor manager at this adorable little casual dining establishment was visibly confused by my “nope, just a party of one. Yes, I want to eat here” (followed by me saying internally ‘because eating outside on the curb like a party-of-oner should, just wouldn’t do, pal’). He sat me at a counter space with my amazing glass of Mexican hot chocolate while I waited for my order of three churros. Yes, three. Don’t judge me.

Best meal ever---EVER!

When my churros arrived, I immediately drifted off into a lovely deep-fried, chocolate- and pistachio-coated heaven.  I no longer noticed the way-too-drunk tables, who really were entertaining to watch. And the two girls next to me who kept staring at me, I reasoned they were just jealous of my fabulous food and shoe choice and smiled.

The next morning I walked around again to a new part of the neighborhood. I found that no stores, not even in Chicago, stock gloves during late-April despite the fact it was freezing. Then I found out that the Chicago Magnolia Bakery is good, but New York’s is better, and that enjoying a city—or any new place—solo is fun! You can see and do what you want, relax and talk to new people, and it’s a great experience. But then I saw my hubby walk up to the hotel and I remembered that I also really, REALLY miss him when he is working and I still love seeing him in uniform, and despite the fact I now have another opinion to take into account for shopping, eating and destinations, I have a lot of fun with my pilot.

5 things I learned from moving across the country

I was bound to learn a thing or two during a cross-country move at age 30. I learned a few things when I did the move the first time at age 22, so it was only logical that I would take away a few nuggets from my journey home to make me a wiser individual.

It is also extremely hard to list just five takeaways from this monstrous adventure. Moving sucks regardless of whether you are moving a block away, or across the country, or like friends of ours, across the world (I can’t even imagine that and they had two kids!). What I learned during my adventure, though, assures me that I am stronger, a better juggler and more organized than even I imagined.

Without further ado, my top five list!

5. Dogs take up a lot of valuable vehicle space. At first, I thought I would have a decent amount of space in my car to bring certain things with me. Movers were packing and hauling the majority of our belongings, but hubby and I would take the rest in our respective vehicles, on our individual trips. But two dogs (50 and 60-pound dogs) need at least a little space, water bowls, food bowl and food, a maybe a chew toy since the drive is really, really dull for them. I love about 30% of the space in my car to my dogs. And how did they thank me? By releasing some of their worst silent but deadlies ever while we were in a small space.

4. You truly find out who your friends are. I expected to spend time saying goodbye to people but some friends really surprised me; in a good way. There were those that didn't really have time to say goodbye, and though it was sad, it was OK. Then there were those friends that wanted to say goodbye a few times and check in and make sure you were OK, and stop by and help pack your TV. Those are the friends that made me happy and sad at the same time. It was hard to leave these special friends, but felt so good to know we had built those relationships.

This beautiful view is Northern Arizona and the beautiful
vistas were over shortly after this

3. Highways are built in the most boring areas! Why can’t I find a quick, safe, efficient route from Arizona to Ohio that takes me through the most scenic parts of the country?  To top it off, we drove out during the third and final installment of “Polar Vortex 2014” so everything was dead, frozen and miserable. Yes, even the street signs were miserable with that nasty cold weather! It’s boring, it’s flat, it’s brown and I don’t remember most of it because I kind of blacked it out! New Mexico was beautiful, but after that…not so much.

2.  It is possible to become exhausted doing nothing. Sitting in a car for 12 hours can be exhausting. It isn't because my dad (a.k.a. my copilot on this adventure) wasn't great company. It is just exhausting seeing signs that say you are still 300 miles away from St. Louis. The radio in my 2001 CRV worked, but the tape deck (YES – TAPE DECK) wasn't used. That meant we had to listen to radio stations in the abyss of I-40. Oh, and I know what you are thinking, “Why didn't you use one of those iPhone adapters?” I didn't use one because the charger/cigarette lighter didn't work and the last thing I want is to have a dead phone while I’m driving across the country. Surprisingly, there are a lot of Country (good for me), Classic Rock (good for dad) and NPR (good for both of us) stations everywhere!

1. It never really “sunk in” what was happening. People asked me every day if it had “sunk in yet” that I was moving that far away, or that I was leaving my Arizona life behind. To be honest, I was so busy during January packing and preparing for the move to really have time to stop and reflect. I tried to give myself the opportunity to freak out or to allow the enormity of everything to “sink in” with multiple solo hikes and even on that 28 hour drive. It never did, and it really hasn't. We've lived in Ohio for three months and I never had that “Oh my gosh, I moved across the country!” moment. Life just keeps moving and you have to move with it. 

We F-ing moved across the country!

It still doesn't seem real. I can't believe that we sold our house, packed up our life in Arizona and moved to Ohio!

I waited 8 years to take this pic!
Thanks Hobby Lobby ...

It all happened kind of fast. We had been talking about moving back to the Midwest...well...since I met my hubby about eight years ago. We knew we wouldn't live in Arizona forever, but hadn't figured out our next step. Then, something clicked and we both knew we had to move on. Arizona had given us so much: we found each other, we added our fur babies to our lives, we bought and did work on our first home, we started careers, we built networks and made lifelong friends.

Finally, though, we made the decision that it was time to make a move. Fortunately, being married to a commercial pilot meant he had a job wherever we moved. Unfortunately, he was transitioning to a new aircraft at the SAME TIME we had to move for my new job. I had to be at my new job by February 2nd and hubby was in ground school from Jan. 2 - Feb. 21, which meant I had a lot to do solo. Don't get me wrong, hubs was great from afar and did a lot when he was home (when he could come home, for like an hour and then go back), but I had a lot to figure out and quickly.

One week in Ohio - this happened

But we made it! We - the dogs and I - arrived in Ohio as did our stuff, all in time to start my job on February 2nd. The hubby arrived about a month later. We both drove, we both had to shovel our first snow in years (might have been hubby's first snow-shoveling experience ever), and we are starting to figure out our new life in Ohio!

So far, it has been pretty good! I have seen my family a few times and the weather is finally starting to be more tolerable in Ohio the same time it is about to hit 100 in Phoenix. Making friends is harder the older you get, but we are getting there.

Oh, and we found a house already! Ha! We sure do move fast when we make up our minds!

Willing the phone to ring

This is me when the phone rings! "WOAH!"

When we were younger (or from age 14 until I met my husband) some of us girls would will the phone to ring. We would just stare at it, loathe it for not ringing, and jump like a frightened kitten when it would finally ring!

But then we meet our Prince Charming and exhale a wonderful sigh of relief that we will never have to stare at our phones praying it would ring. That guy gave us a ring! No need to worry.

Right?

Wrong!

I realized during this past week that there is actually a grown-up equivalent to this. It happens when you decide to sell your house. We feel judged like our younger selves when someone doesn't want our house. And I promise you, the anxiety I feel is pretty close to that of my teenage self, except now I have to hold it together. Nobody will empathize with a grown woman who is breaking down because her house didn't sell it's first week on the market. Nope, nobody wants to hear that b*ll$hit!

But alas, here I am....with my phone next to me 24/7 willing my Realtor to call/text with some good news. And here I wait...

Wait, did you want to know WHY we are selling our house? Oh man, I will have to write that story next! Chronological order is for the birds!

I figured out the women of Paris

And it isn't that they don't get fat!

I like to observe people and how they live. I find people fascinating! Why do they do whatever it is they are doing. What ARE they doing?
Recently, I was in Paris with hubby. Traveling with a husband you normally spend only half of your time with can be interesting. We haven't spent this much time together since our honeymoon. And, a beach/chill honeymoon is very different than a hurried and less romantic trip to Amsterdam and Paris - but that's another story. Back to people of Paris.

Paris is full of fabulous people. Even the garbage men are attractive in a way only a Parisian garbage man can be. The women and their looks, shoes and overall air is remarkable. Then there are the men. Handsome and pretty metro-sexual in suits or jeans- and make both options look fabulous! Even the children make us Americans feel less fabulous. The clothing ads show children with their pouts. The toddler in his stroller with his fabulous hat and scarf being walked by his equally impressive parents.

Everyone is slightly fabulous, this is obvious. But after a while I could help notice differences beyond their obvious fabulousness and my lack thereof.


Parisian women and American women in my opinion have differences in three main areas:

• Makeup
• Jewelry
• Expressions

The makeup - I couldn't help but notice how beautiful all these French women looked (and very similar to how beautiful the women in Amsterdam were too). Yes, they may claim to wear less makeup, but it is really HOW they wear it that makes the difference. They do not wear eye makeup the way we do; if they wear it at all, and I don't mean some of the women, I mean all of them from high school aged to adults. Mascara...yes. Eyeliner...sometimes. Eyeshadow...almost never unless they all wear a secret nude shade that makes them all look marvelous. No, I'm pretty sure my eye makeup gave me away, unless my other faults did so first.

The jewelry - They wear it, just not like us. Not many gaudy necklaces or blingy watches. Don't get me wrong, I love my sparkly Michael Kors watch and the necklaces that seem to say "Hello" without screaming it; but even that was much more than the Parisian women. Then there were the wedding rings. You know how "bigger is better" for rocks in the US? Well, not at all the case in France. IF a woman wore a ring, it was just one and more often than not it was a single gold band. No comparing sparkles with friends, no "Oh let me see that rock!" after an engagement. Just simple and still beautiful rings on the fabulous married women of Paris.

Then the expressions - the one thing I could never change about myself. They aren't very expressive. Sure they can do that Paris-pout but what about laughter, excitement or disgust and not the Parisian's disgust with American tourists we all imagine, but the lip-curling, eye-rolling, head-turning disgust we Americans do not even try to hide? I see none of it! I watch and listen and wait -  on trains, at restaurants and elsewhere I see and hear none of it! I laughed out loud (LOLed if you will)  at a cafe and felt immediately embarrassed! With Americans, we laugh, we giggle and yes, we even roll our eyes with not much worry that it is inappropriate. I have a very tough time not showing my feelings on my face - even when I am actively trying (just ask my former boss who had multiple sit-down meetings with me about my involuntary facial expressions and her disgust with them...I HAVE TRIED!).

Ah well, I guess my Midwest-Cowgirl hybrid of America has no interest in turning French although I do like the makeup style. But I liked that first and most in the Amsterdam pancake restaurant when the beautiful women were so friendly and beautiful. But my subtle bling and facial expressions are going no where!

How the other half fly

Actually, it is probably more like the other 10 percent. I say 10 percent because there are like 200 seats in coach and about 20 in business or first class. So yes...10 percent sounds right for a lot of reasons; but I digress.

I have flown first class before; going from AZ to OH or NY. Don't get me wrong, it's nice, but nothing so outrageous that I would actually consider pay for a first class fare...ever!

Then we went to Europe first class. From Seattle to Amsterdam, we sat in Business Class on Delta. First off, Delta won my heart on a recent trip to OH when the gate agents were so kind it made my long day much better, followed by the flight attendant asking if I was old enough to sit in the exit row! Delta rocks in my book!

1

We walk in the cabin and are greeted with mimosas, which is always a quick way to my heart. Then hubby - who had been dreaming of a first class international flight since we went to the airlines - showed me how to recline my seat so I was lying comfortably flat. Oh Happy Day! 

Then the on-demand TV in my seat welcomed me to the aircraft. After the four-course of not-too-bad food, good drinks, and putting on my slippers, eye covers and ear plugs, I was ready to get our 30th Birthday Europe Trip underway!

We had the same deal on the way home, plus the AMAZING, UNREAL views when we flew over Greenland! Breathtaking!

So no, I don't think I can ever fly coach on a long flight again. A nine hour flight is bad enough, but if you are a nervous flyer who cannot sleep unless you are lying down, the 10 percent experience is pretty amazing. Delta, you may have ruined me for all other airlines!

Annnnd I'm BACK!

The last month or so has been a blur. I met my good friend in Portland, OR for a fun girls weekend. That was followed by the long-planned 30th birthday trip to Europe with hubby. I can't believe it is halfway through October. It sounds so old, but serious, where did the time go?

Portland was pretty fantastic. I had some long days that week so I was able to sneak out of work early on Friday and take a flight to the rainy city. Only problem was, the flights looked terrible! I've learned to chill (the f#$^) out when flying standby, but even hubby was stressing from whatever airport he was stuck in due to bad weather. It was my first time doing the ZED fare (paying a fee much less than a ticket to fly standby on another approved airline) but I was a fan! It was a direct, albeit very bumpy, two hour flight.

It is amazing how much I still freak out when I fly. My logical side wants to point and laugh, but the second the bumps start to get a little bit bigger, I go white-knuckle.

Anyway, there I am in rainy, friendly Portland! I found our amazing hotel (great location and I would seriously hire their interior designer if I had money) and one of my best friends who I hadn't seen since my wedding! After downing a bottle of champagne (I claim 2/3 of it) and talking so much we had to force ourselves to stop so we could actually have dinner before the restaurants closed.

After our long and amazing dinner at Andina (seriously amazing Tapas restaurant in the hip Pearl district) we both decided that if forced, we could happily move to Portland, OR.

Day two brought a few more fun things, and one not so fun. A slight, but lasting, champagne headache. Cruse you, Champagne! Our brunch at Mothers Bistro was equally awesome as our dinner the night before, but had one additional piece of awesome - our waiter. I was sure he was taking the (seriously, not joking) outrageously good press coffee intravenously he had so much energy and was just "on it" with everything. He didn't miss a beat; he was funny, cool, charming, energetic, knew everything, honest, etc. So when we ask, he tells us he is into this energy "thing" and I say "thing" like this because I can't remember or articulate what exactly it was, but I remember it triggered something in my brain. I realized what makes Portland so unique.

Now I only spent 1.5 days in Portland, but I am pretty sure I nailed one specific thing about Portland locals. They are are serious about their passions. It doesn't matter if it is press coffee (ya, that definitely got that right), natural energy, candles, furniture, beer, food, interior design, mass transit, or happily dealing with downpours, they know what it is that they care about (and it may not be mainstream) and they go all-in every time.

This is probably why Portland is so endearing. The food scene is nationally known, and rightfully so. But don't let it fool you. The rest of Portland is just as alert and focused as their chefs. They are working hard and making whatever it is they care about shine like a diamond.

On our last and fittingly perfect evening, we dined at Blue Hour, a highly-recommended spot from my NYC foodie brother. It did not disappoint. The food, atmosphere and staff were so warm, surprising and delightful that I wish I could go back without a flight.

Go to Portland; discover its wonderful people, and find out what this one-of-a-kind city can mean to you.

I will leave you with this lasting comment from a Saturday morning lady about my age...
As my friend and I were leaving brunch, my champagne headache still hanging on, two ladies were walking behind us when one said, "I didn't drink enough last night!," to which I leaned over to my friend and said "...said no one ever," followed by the girl catching our attention and saying the exact same thing to us and laughing...then we all four laughed about it. The two hungover ones (me and chatty Kathy behind us) and our two alert friends who wish we would snap out of it!

12 Years and a World Away

September 11, 2013 isn't a particularly special other than being the 12 year anniversary of 9/11/01 when the Twin Towers fell, the Pentagon was hit, and a commercial airliner was brought down in a Pennsylvania field by some courageous passengers, and our country felt exposed, violated, seriously wounded and more patriotic than ever before.

I was a college freshman at Kent State University in northeast Ohio on this day 12 years ago. I sat through my second week of freshman English with about 15 other freshman - all of us oblivious to what was happening a few states away. We all walked from that class on to what was next - for me it was a break so I stopped by my dorm room. My roommate was like a statue; shocked and on the phone with her parents she pointed towards the TV which was playing the only thing on any channel, the smoking tower of the World Trade Center that had been hit. At this time the thought was it was a freak airplane accident. As we watched, we learned along with the rest of the world, that it was no freak accident when a second plane slammed into the other tower. The rest literally is history, but those crystal-clear memories are etched into all of our minds.

What I never could have expected 12 years ago is where I am today. I do remember thinking what the horror must have been for those airplane passengers as they realized what was unfolding, or in the case of Flight 93, the courage of those passengers to protect the rest of us by making the ultimate sacrifice. How did their families feel when they got the call on-board and hung up the phone before storming the cockpit to take back control? I never thought of the crew. I never knew I would have to think of the crew.

But now half of my world is the crew and I freeze with the horror thinking of what EVERY commercial pilot and their loved ones felt on that day. They lost their loved ones, their colleagues, their passion for aviation. I can't let myself imagine it too much without coming undone.

Then I look around my desk at work and feel an enormous sense of pride for my colleagues. I work in PR for first responders. Paramedics, EMTs and firefighters are my colleagues and I have tremendous respect for them; not just on 9/11 each year. But I feel a sense of pride that they allow me to be part of their world. They sacrifice so the rest of us can be safe.

Today, I cherish my conversations with my pilot before and after his flights just a little more. Today, I can't say enough about what first responders give so the rest of us may sleep at night. Some of us are just lucky enough to sit on the sidelines near these people and closely orbit around their humble greatness.

I hardly doubt my generation will grow old without another "Where were you when..." moment . I hope we can reach old age without one. I hope our children can grow up in a world where they don't have one. I know for the most part all of that is out of my control, but what I can control is living today, tomorrow and the next and not taking for granted what so many others were robbed of, or what they gave so the rest of us may live. 

Respect your first responders, thank them for working 24 hours straight and not seeing their families for Christmas or birthday's, and for always answering the call. And fly with kindness because that crew is someone's whole world and you never know when they may become more than a hassle to your day.

A 25-minute flight

Last week hubby and I decided it was necessary to get a different vehicle; time to get rid of the Corolla and get something we can load our pups in and go camping, and a Corolla just won't do well off-roading. We found a great Subaru but it was in Flagstaff and we live in Phoenix. I am definitely more motivated by a great vehicle than a long drive. So, I assumed we would drive together to Flagstaff, get the car, and each would drive back to Phoenix. Long day, but worth it. I was wrong.

So we flew...from Phoenix to Flagstaff. I didn't even know there were flights from Phoenix to Flagstaff, let alone several flights every day. So at 6 a.m. we woke up, headed to the airport (through some serious rain) and hopped a flight to Flagstaff to look at a car. Who does that?!?!

After a very long, very bumpy, very rainy 25-minute flight, we arrived in cool and cloudy Flagstaff. Thank goodness we loved the car because I was not looking forward to flying back through those bumpy skies...at all! While hubby sleeps on bumpy flights, I cringe and grip to anything...not sure why I think grabbing something will help stop the bumps, but driving two hours in the rain sounded way better than the flight!

So the flight was totally worth it after 15 minutes with hubby driving his new-ish vehicle. He loved it and that made it all worth it. That, and the fact we made it back home in time to watch football!

Let's drive instead!

Five years ago, when hubby and I had just moved in together, we decided it would be a great idea to buy a tent...online...at 11 p.m....after drinking a little bit. Most of my best decisions happen with that type of lead-up. So for five years, our little tent waited, and waited and waited to go camping. This past weekend, it finally got its chance.

Seriously, how did it take us five years to go camping? I may never fully understand. So anyway, hubby gets home from his trip on Saturday afternoon and starts to pack up everything we will need for our one-night camping expedition. Who knew you needed SO MUCH stuff to camp for one night?

Sunday morning, at 5 a.m., hubby wakes up (picture a little boy on Christmas morning...he couldn't sleep the night before and woke up with so much dang energy I about smothered him with a pillow) and our dogs, our loaded car, and the two of us hit the road. We didn't get too far before I had to stop for a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks since they just became available, but after he realized how important it was for me to be properly caffeinated, we were happily back on the road.

The drive was about 2 1/2 hours from hot Phoenix up to beautiful and cool lakes outside of Payson. I can
honestly say the drive was amazing. Plus, being able to roll down your windows in Arizona is sooooo nice!

I'll admit it, I was a little nervous. Hubby can be a bit OCD and I can be a bit "ah - whatever" and I was a little worried I may not have taken it serious enough. But alas, we found a camping spot, pitched the tent (successfully on the first try) unpacked everything and found this amazing lake within 45 minutes of arriving!

He wanted to fish - and I humored the idea. He has now gone fishing twice and yet to catch a fish, but one day he will. I should probably explain here how much he adores our dog, Ruby. This dog is basically his soul mate and vice versa. He couldn't WAIT to throw Ruby's ball in the lake and let her swim around. She loved it! But, I kept telling him, little fishes don't so much like 50lb dogs jumping in the lake near them so they aren't going to be around. No big deal - he continued practicing his casting skills, Ruby swam to her hearts content and I sat next to our boxer who is afraid of swimming.

I have to say, bathroom situation aside, it was a pretty wonderful 24 hours! So much so, that we decided we have to go camping again in a few weeks to another beautiful corner of Arizona. Don't worry, after that there are a few fun trips planned that include airplanes, amazing cities and no swimming dogs!

I'll fly home

I'm a bit jaded about my stand-by flight benefits. I've had some definite downs along the way, with a few positives mixed in (like getting to my destination around the time I planned). But this past weekend was a big step for me. I ventured from Phoenix to NE Ohio on a Friday and back on a Sunday, which most in the commercial airline industry would say are the busiest times to fly. So hubby said, "just try it - your bad luck isn't the norm and you need to give it a shot," so I did.

Now, let me preface this story by saying that there are zero direct flights to and from the Cleveland area, meaning I needed good luck twice to get there, and twice to get home. I felt like I was tempting the stand-by Gods into a bad outcome, but maybe I'd sneak out and back without them noticing.

I was totally prepared to spend a lot of time at the Phx airport. I had my work computer, log in info to list for different flights when I didn't get on one, great places to eat (seriously, PHX has the best restaurants!)...I was ready! So flight #1...didn't get on. I am pretty sure the gate agent called someone lower on the stand-by list than me (because I was anxiously watching the list as she called names), but alas, the door closed and I was standing there sad. No worries, my next option is a short walk away, so off I go!

Next flight I also didn't get on...but I was the NEXT PERSON! Ugh - so close! Thankfully, while this was happening, hubby (in between his own flights) found a direct to ATL and from ATL I had a few options to get home. So I headed to my third gate of the day and thankfully got on! Middle seat in the very last row...but I was headed home!

By the time I landed in ATL, I was worried I wouldn't make my connection option and furiously started up my iPhone when we landed to find out where my next gate was, where I was landing and mapping my route. However, hubby again came to my rescue! There was a flight to the smaller airport that was only 10 minutes away from my parents house...and I might make it. I RAN (well the terminal train did a lot of the work, but it felt like I was running) and made it. The nicest gate agent EVER! He was friendly and gave me an exit row seat!!! Once on the plane, the flight attendant asked, somewhat embarrassed, "Ma'am, are you...old enough for the exit row? You...you have to be an adult," to which I burst out "OH my gosh....I just turned 30!!!! You made my whole day!"

After a short flight to my hometown, my brother-in-law waiting to pick me up because my trip was a surprise to my sister, nieces and parents, I decided my bad stand-by karma had been lifted!! Now, this could all change before my next trip in September...but I'm going to be optimistic and hope to fly away with happiness and little bit of good luck...and sweet flight attendants who think I'm 10+ years younger than I am!

Oh, and I made it back to Phoenix on Sunday!

I took another trip this past weekend. Seriously sad how infrequently I travel given my flight benefits and amount of friends and family who live in cool places. I'm working on that!

So Los Angeles...I have a growing affection for this city. It was never my favorite city, but it slowly is showing its many sides to me and I find more to like each time I visit. The thing I like the MOST? My wonderful friend, Sarah, who was also my wonderful maid of honor. So I went to play in LA on Saturday - just for 24 hours! I need to take more trips like this to improve my attitude about flying stand-by. It was pretty great! I hopped on a very early flight on Saturday morning, enjoyed a fun day of eating, shopping, catching up, meeting new friends, hiking and cooler weather.

We actually successfully hiked up a pretty decent trail with some amazing views. Spotted this little guy as we neared the top.

So with my non-rev (no revenue flying) confidence up a little, maybe I'll try another trip soon! Who knows where or who I may try to see next!

Thank, Los Angeles, let's do it again soon.

What's your "currency"

Everyone has their motivation - motivation to work out, motivation to save money, motivation to work harder. I've been thinking a lot lately about my motivations. Like a lot of things in my life, I understand it but cannot always put what I think, feel or know into a nice little gift box because I try not to be so limiting. I envy people who can be clear and direct about what will motivate them to reach their goals because I think it would help me reach mine.

So, in talking with friends and other professionals, I have found what motivates them in hopes I will understand what can motivate me and help me become more successful in my career aspirations.
Some people, actually many people, are motivated by money. They see their paycheck as that benchmark of their success and that makes sense. But money doesn't motivate me. Don't get me wrong, I like having money as much as the next person, but beyond taking care of my necessities, money doesn't get me out of bed.

Other people I've found are motivated by the work they do. Now, I would hope most people enjoy their work, but I mean people who are so in love with what they do, that they would get up at 3 am, drive hours in a blizzard to a crap office with zero pay and no benefits just to get to do their job. I do love my job and have way too much fun sometimes to call it "work" but I don't know that just the job itself does it for me.

I think I may be a little closer to the next group; people who are motivated by what their job gives them - freedoms, benefits (hello free air travel), access to great people/parties/things, etc. I don't get a whole lot of this category, but I am definitely motivated by free time. I will work my butt off for an event or a crazy few weeks if I know I get to check out and get time back afterwards. But still, this isn't my currency.

I say currency because most people are motivated by the financial reward. Why shouldn't they be? Their is one glaring reason we aren't all laying out by our giant pools having our hired help bring us champagne every day...we need to work! So, by default, the more money you make the better you must be at your job and therefore, if you are a career-minded person like me, the more value you have - for your family, your employer, your future and for yourself.

I had to fill out a bio form once for a leadership academy so we could all get to know our classmates. There was a question on there relating to this and I answered that I am driven by happiness. It sounds so corny, but I think at the end of the day, I have no other way to say it. I am driven and motivated by happiness. I probably define happiness differently than everyone else, but I think deep down, that sense of contentment with what I am doing is what drives me to do more, do better and to take pride in what I am doing.

I had a job once that from the outside should have been "my big break" and I was SO excited. But from the inside, the job killed me. It sucked every ounce of happiness out of me to a point I couldn't find myself in the great titled job, at the well-known company, with the good pay and amazing benefits. I left, cut my salary by more than anyone should...every! And, what I got back was my happiness. Maybe there is a more definite way to articulate what it really is deep down that equates happiness to me professionally. But I guess I'm just OK going with a feeling I get about the job, the people and the possibilities. The happy employee always works harder anyway so I guess my currency isn't really an odd concept.

But thank goodness I also earn enough to get by, love what I do enough to just now accept an invitation to be at work at 6 a.m. tomorrow, and know that I have the freedom to leave early enough to take Ruby to the vet!

Sex and the City 10 years later

At 18, I learned to love Sex and the City. I imagined myself being that fabulous, successful and definitely single in an amazing city like New York when I was in my mid-20s and likely 30s. I could actually relate to some of the crazy single girl drama (minus the designer clothes) and thought it made sense. Clearly this was pretty accurate, and definitely funny.

Fast-forward 10 years (because it seriously feels like that is what happens...life fast-forwards like crazy!) and at 29 I popped the entire Sex and the City series into my TV and enjoyed these fabulous ladies while Kyle has been away on trips.

Only something is different. I find I roll my eyes a lot and answer their silly men questions out loud - my dogs agree with me so it's ok - and start to wonder if too much SATC could have been bad for me... probably!

I think I tried to be that fabulous, but I fell in love with a non-drama guy, have a job that doesn't require any fancy clothing (in fact it's better if I don't dress up too much) and got lost on my way to being that fabulous! But I think it worked out. Watching what I thought made so much sense as a 20-year-old is definitely fun and brings back so many fond memories, but I hope someone tells the soon-to-be-fabulous 20-year-olds, that life isn't nearly that tough!

Married, 30yo, mother of zero

What happens when you are in the midst of or moving through some very significant things in your life?  You get lots of questions, advice and other fun things to make you talk about personal things you don't even know about yet.

I'm in that, "Have you guys talked about having kids yet?" phase. Sure, it is a natural question. You get married, you buy a house, you have babies - period! That is the order of things and happy parents can't wait for you to join them on the baby side.

The problem is that for some people, having kids is an easy, no-brainier; others not so much. The first group is usually overrun with women, but still, it's the 200% certain group of "there is no other option" that can be intimidating.

What about the rest of us? What about those childless women who are teetering between kids or no kids? Now, I don't have a baby, but I respect those women who have babies, toddlers, teenagers or grown children (I am a grown child and my mom still has a lot to deal with). However, those of us in my boat have it rough! The constant barrage of questions. The silent judgement - we can hear it! - from others who want to know about our family plans. When we say "I don't know" it doesn't mean we don't know, it means I don't want to talk about "it" whatever "it" may be.

I have heard and witnessed new moms, and mothers-to-be receive lots of unsolicited advice. But so do the childless who choose not to explain their personal plans to everyone.

"It's good to wait" "You  will know when you are ready" "Don't wait too long" "If you do want kids, how many do you want? You have to have more than one!" "Having one is the best" "Don't have kids!" "In my next life I'm just having fish" "Kids ruined my life" "Having kids is the purpose for life" 

Oh my goodness! 

I had a very heart-warming moment with a colleague recently. He is probably late-fifties or so and never had children. We were talking and something came up and he mentioned how he doesn't care for kids and I laughed (if you knew him, you'd laugh too) but then he said something that I appreciated. 

He said that people like me have it rough - those married women, of the baby age, but without children. And, without us talking about it, we knew that we completely agreed and appreciated each other for understanding. It is hard being where I am. Because I'm not even sure where it is that I am right now.

Please understand, those of us in my group don't get mad at someone when they pry into our personal lives like this. Hell - I probably ask people things like this too - "Hey you - you lady who has been with the same guy for 3 years - when are you getting married?"

But we may not want to talk about it. Imagine how someone feels when asked "why don't you and your husband have any kids" when that woman has been trying for 10 years to have a baby, is on treatments and cries frequently because all she wants is a baby. It is DEEPLY personal and some women are comfortable talking about all of it, and others are not. Just think about how excited, confused or even nervous about a recent positive test a women may be when you want to ask that question. It isn't a life step we are all required to take, it is a lifelong commitment. From the moment you decide you want a baby, you become someone new. You become a mother in training. It is a VERY big deal and a very big and important decision to some women, more so than just flipping to the next chapter.

As for me...we are constantly in training for the next big or small step in our lives. We don't know anything for sure other than we love each other and love the life we have right now, in this very moment. We are happy and if that happiness grows to include more with our family, great! If it doesn't, we are no less happy and no less a family than we are today.

Take me away.....

It's been months since I hopped on a plane. Kyle does this daily - both flying himself, and going to and from home - but not me. I have had a few interesting experiences to say the least so I am somewhat apprehensive about flying stand-by. But, in order to get to and from Ohio in one weekend, I must get on a plane.

This time wasn't too bad. Kyle wanted to "give it a shot" at trying to fly Delta red-eye flight on a Thursday night into Atlanta or Detroit. It didn't look good online, but I trust him in this area. So we drove to the airport at 9:45 p.m. to try and get on one of two flights out at either 10:30 or 11:40 p.m. We sat at the gate (the two flights were right next to each other), met another stand-byer who needed to get to a tiny town in the midwest who was planning to sleep at the airport since it was obvious none of us were getting on these flights.

So we headed home at midnight and decided to take a 6 a.m. flight to Newark and then to Cleveland. This meant we had about three hours of sleep before the 4 1/2 flight. But we made it! Sleep-deprived, hungry and slightly cranky, but in Ohio for a weekend with my family.

Next trip on my/our planner...Sacramento, Seattle, Portland, LA, Hawaii....so many decisions!